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Style & Life: 3 Negative Labels People Should Never Use

Let's just get out the eraser and just remove these labels from the English language, by Rosa Fairfield. 

My main problem with the word vain is that it's a juxtaposition. When it refers to another person, it tends to mean either they are overly concerned with or think too highly highly of their appearance. Those are too very different concepts because people who are often overly concerned with their appearance normally have some kind of insecurity around it. That's different from the other meaning, which implies a person thinks their better than someone else. Therefore, if you're self-conscious to begin with and then get labeled as vain, the only thing that does is make that person more self-conscious.

Then it could also mean having an overly high opinion of your self-worth, appearance, achievements etc. I think that concept is very damaging because no one has the right to put a measure on someone's worth. Surely if someone gets called vain, when they act that way because they are self-conscious and then if they interpret that as a high sense of self-worth that's going to destroy their self-confidence.

Attention Seeker
It makes me visibly cringe when people use this word. It's such a nasty thing to say because there's always a reason behind why someone is looking for attention, however hidden that might be. Maybe they feel lonely or struggle to make friends? Then, by someone rejecting that person, calling them an attention seeker and not wanting to be around them or that reason, I just don't think that's a very good solution to that problem. There are also so many negative connotations that come with the word, you only have to type it into a social media app and potentially nasty and damaging things come up.

High Maintenance
This one is so ambiguous because people use it in so many different contexts. It can mean someone is emotional needy, likes the luxury life, needs a lot of money to keep them, think they're better than everyone else, they're a perfectionist or they spend a lot of time on their appearance etc etc. Those are all very different contexts though and often a person isn't all of these things but they still get that label anyway, which can be seen as a negative and hurtful thing.

I especially don't like it being used in the emotional sense because it becomes another way a person can dismiss someone's insecurities or mental illness. It's also a stereotype and people aren't stereotypes because life is more complex than that.

It's often a label guys give to girls to dismiss behaviour that they can't relate to. I've read so many articles relating to it and they often hint at the theme of a guy keeping a girl and the girl being the one that needs to be looked after. I'm sorry... are we still living in the 1950s?



  1. Sometimes I wonder whether people who engage in destructive rather than constructive criticism know they are doing it. They should.
    All three of those negative labels have been disproportionately used by misogynistic men. The prejudiced attitude that usually accompanies the use of those negative labels can be quite obnoxious.
    With respect to vanity, however, I can see how people are tempted to point out the unsupported vanity of particularly cruel but narcissistic people (i.e: Donald Trump).
    In an ideal world, people would strive to use constructive criticism.
    There have been times when I have felt quite hurt by criticism, but many times I can laugh it off, like when it is clearly just name-calling (I have gotten called 'asshole' 'pervert' and 'faggot' more than a few times). Other times, when it is an expressed rejection from someone I like it can be quite painful.
    I wonder how many times I have been called those three negative labels behind my back?

    That floral embroidered top and skirt you were rocking in the photos above are GORGEOUS!!! Your hair looks very pretty too.

  2. This is so true! I think people never really think of things like this when it comes to the connotations behind these types of words. Making it known that there are reasons, especially mental illness like you mentioned that people could be acting a certain way that most people don't understand. Well done!

  3. You look amazing! Such a good outfit!

  4. This outfit is so gorgeous! It's perfect for Spring.

    xx, Maryam


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