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Self-Help: The Art of Letting Things Go

Here are a few ways that we can try and deal with tricky situations in a calm an assertive way, by Rosa Fairfield, photos by Linda Smith.

I feel like sometimes we end up holding onto unnecessary grudges or have misplaced anger. You know, when you end up shouting at someone because they used your frying pan or because they ended up turning up 10 minutes late. Little things like that. Anyway, so I decided to create my 5 step guide (it's always 5 with me) to letting things go. You know, so hopefully we can all enjoy a calmer, simpler life.


Does it really matter?
I think, before we all react to a situation, it's good to stop and think about if it really matters or not. If the answers is no, then it's probably best to forget about it and change thought track. I mean, sometimes you may find that what happened does really matter to you... but instead of screaming at someone, it's good to think of a way of handling the situation productively.

Dealing with things assertively?
That brings me to being assertive. It's basically just finding a way to solve a situation in a productive way. If you want someone to do something for you in the long run, the best way of achieving that isn't gonna be by shouting. Try having a discussion about why it matters to you and give the other person some idea of what they can do differently next time. I think it's a mixture of reassuring someone it's okay but being firm that you don't want such and such to happen again.

Am I really annoyed because of something else?
I feel like I do this a lot, I'll end up snapping at someone over something. In reality though, I'm not actually angry about that, I'm angry about something else. That's why it's probably best to address issues some way, instead of keeping them bottled up. Even if it's something simple, like writing your thoughts down in a journal. It's good to be in tune with yourself so you can recognize when this is happening.

Basically, everything is a two way street and I think you have to be in tune to what the other person is thinking too. If something is really bugging you but the other person just doesn't want to talk about it. Then, you're gonna get nowhere by trying to force them to. You both have to find a comprise somewhere though.

Is everything really okay?
After an argument or a potential tricky conversation, I think it's really good communication to check in with each other. Sometimes you can think an issue has been solved but the other person can then end up feeling a bit down or like another issue has been brought up.

This is a bit of a weird post really but I think communication is a good topic to discuss because big disputes can come from silly little misunderstandings. What are your top communication tips? You can leave a comment bellow.