9 Things I learnt
From my eating disorder
So, throughout the whole of last year - as much as I denied it at the time - I was suffering from an eating disorder. It was extremely unpleasant, think: being unable to move out of bed, vomiting, days without food and a nasty voice in my head. Now I'm through it, I thought I would share with you some things I have learnt.
1. I'm a lot stronger than I thought
People have always told me I have a lot of mental strength but, I couldn't personally see this. My willpower can be both a curse and a blessing. I mean, I had enough willpower to do high levels of exercise when I hadn't eaten food all day. That was a big problem. When I was going through this, I thought starving myself was the right thing to do and my willpower actually made me go through with it, which was scary. On the other hand, my strength helped me to overcome the disorder.
2. Know which battles to fight
Leading on from the last point, you shouldn't use all of your willpower and determination to achieve every idea that pops into your head. You need to be able to sort out the good ideas from the bad.
3. The only person standing in the way of my happiness is myself
This life lesson explored in an episode of the television series: Once Upon a Time, rings true in real life. I was actively making myself unhappy by starving myself and then accusing the universe of making me unhappy. Kind of ironic.
4. There is a right and wrong way to lose weight
Starving yourself is not the way to do this. I learnt that the hard way, when very nasty side effects started to kick in. Some days I was too weak to leave my bed, I would feel faint and dizzy all of the time. One of the things that scared me the most, was my hair started to thin out. Moreover, you also need to realise when to stop losing weight, otherwise it is a slippery slope into being underweight.
5. Weight isn't equal to beauty
We all naturally have different body shapes. Some people have very tiny frames, whereas others have a broader build. It's about excepting that shape and working with it, we are all beautiful in our own unique way.
6. I don't need someone to save me
I've spent most of my life waiting for someone to rescue me. Eventually, I realised that the only person that could and should rescue me is myself.
7. To take my own advice
Everyday that I suffered through this, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but instead of listening to my sense of reason, I ignored it.
8. The negative things I think aren't the truth
I thought some pretty horrible thoughts about myself and never once did I question if these were true or not. Just because you think something, it doesn't automatically make it true.
9. To be kinder to myself
In a weird kind of way, I was punishing myself. I have learnt to be kinder to myself, to look after myself and give myself what I need. This body has to last you your whole life so you might as well look after it, both physically and mentally.
Thanks for visiting my blog, I really appreciate it! What life lesson have you learnt recently? Please leave a comment, I would love to hear your thoughts.