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Style & Advice: Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

A chat about destiny, fate... and trying to find reasoning when bad things happen, by Rosa Fairfield.

Photographs by Linda Smith

Do we have total free will over our actions or are we all on a pre-made path? Well, I've been thinking lately about those two concepts. I've always believed that life is more complex than any of us could fully comprehend or prove. I know, I'm kinda jumping into the deep end here. Anyway, here are some of my thoughts on the ideas of fate & destiny:

Ying & yang
If there is a some kind of force guiding us and looking out for us, then why do bad things happen to innocent people?

I partly think that some people go through difficult times so they have the strength to achieve their dreams. You often find that people who are leading in their fields, have had lots of struggles. For most of us, I think that bad things happen so we can appreciate the good times; without sadness you would never know happiness. The bad things that happen make us human, they teach us compassion and understanding towards others and create unity. They allow us to develop empathy and help other people. That might not mean changing the world, it might just mean making one person's life better.

Missed opportunities
Once, I applied for a job which I believed was absolutely perfect for me. Then, when I didn't get it, I struggled to find a reason why. I phoned the company and asked for feedback. They told me that I did everything right but something was telling them to go a different way. Then, a few months later, I got a different opportunity (which, was better, shhh) but that wouldn't have happened if I had got the first job. I think sometimes you just have to blindly trust that things happen for a reason, even if you can't see the reason at the time.

Players in someone else's story
I refuse to believe that if everything happens for a reason, that reason must be for you. Sometimes, if you didn't get that job or if you didn't end up with that person, it's because it was someone else's fate to and it had nothing to do with you. Maybe, sometimes, you end up getting caught up in someone else's story. On occasion, I've also debated if everyone has a great destiny. Some people might be fated to keep those that do on the right path, without even knowing it themselves.

Nudging Us
Have you ever made a decision, which has lead you down a certain path and then later something happens by pure chance, out of your control, that stops you going down route after all? (Sorry, I feel like I'm asking a lot of questions in this post.) Anyway, I've had a few of these experiences and my life would look very different if they hadn't happened. Maybe, our fate isn't a specific set of instructions but a vague blueprint and the universe is there to genteelly guide us to the end result.

Multiple destinations

There is also the theory that we don't just have one fate but multiple ones and the choices we make determine which one of those plays out. Kinda like in a film, where they make alternative endings. This is kinda like a happy medium, a compromise of both free will & fate.

I want to believe that everything happens for a reason. I think it's a comforting notion that something is watching out for us and that things will all make sense in the end. But, the idea also scares me. What happens if we do have a destiny but that destiny isn't what we want it to be and we can't do anything to prevent it? After all, who said all destinies are positive things? I think it can also cause people to become complacent and justify their actions when they hurt others and desperately search for meaning in every little thing. How about you? What do you think?


From TwinkleDeals - Items Gifted


  1. So cute this look with all the stars!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena

  2. I definitely do think that it isn't a case of 'all or nothing' - I feel like the universe or whatever we choose to believe in is there to nudge us in the right direction, hence I have started listening to my gut feeling a lot more. It has been correct in the past most of the time, and I ended up learning a lesson whenever I refused to consider that my destiny may lie elsewhere. However, I definitely do not think that it is correct when people use their belief in fait to justify unsavoury action/complacency etc. Loved reading this post - so well written and thought provoking!

    maria |

    1. Thanks so much for reading, glad you found it interesting. I do tend to follow my gut feeling too and it mostly leads me right.

  3. Love your outfit! That jacket is amazing... I can't believe the price too! Genuinely shocked!!!
    xx Leah

    1. It was such a great find, I love faux fur coats so much, I'm building up a collection

  4. That Black Glitter Patched V-Neck Slip Mesh Dress is very pretty, and you look extremely pretty wearing it!!!
    A long time ago I, perhaps crazily, wondered whether time could warp around matter enough to bring it back around close to where it started and whether after multiples of infinite times around occurrences could happen again at the identical time in close to the same way as before.. but tI realise that was just a rationalisation of why, when I once knew what was about to happen and to be said, it felt exactly like I was remembering something that had never happened before.
    Hmmm... maybe there are alternate realities in parallel dimensions and we just happened to get stuck in the one in which truly horrible things that have an evil purpose (like Donald Trump) occur... or perhaps a much simpler explanation of the purpose of the alleged existence of Trump is that its purpose is to prove that the theory that the natural mental state of humans is insanity (that when humans attempt to rationalise that they are sane, they are, by clinging to that very delusional rationalisation adding to the body of evidence that they are in fact not sane at all), and that no sane species would be illogical enough to let itself be subjugated by such a clearly demented individual.
    P.S.: I love your YouTube video titled 'Vlogmas A Christmas Carol Comedy Sketch'

    1. I think the idea of parallel realities is a really interesting thought, I do think that if they exist though, some form of 'evil' would occur in whatever reality a person lives. Thanks so much for reading.

  5. I definitely think it's true, and it's a positive reminder when you don't get something that you were hoping for!

    allison |

    1. Thanks for reading. It is nice when you get a reminder that you're on the right path and comforting when something doesn't go your way.

  6. This dress looks gorgeous on you!
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  8. love your outfit :)


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